Love Choice

Love Choice

Category : David's Writings

It has been a while since I have wrote anything and I am inspired to write again. So let me start with this, I try to be as transparent as possible in my writings. To some of you who have known and interacted with me over the last few years, may be shocked to hear, that it has been a struggle for me. If anyone has read my 2013 Year in Review (read here) you will understand some of the things I went through. It has really come to light though how damaging it was for me. The losses I have suffered in the world, had more than just an emotional impact on me, in fact just the other day I cried at the loss of my mom. These losses also have had a spiritual impact as well. All was not lost though, even on days that I struggled and question, at the end of that day I still prayed because I know our Father was there waiting for me.

I know God has pulled me through that bad season and the trials, even though by all accounts I should have just been cast out. Praise be to Jesus for His grace and His mercy, His patients and His love. On that note the reason for this writing, Love and what God has been placing on my heart about it.

I think we can all agree that Love is at the top of Gods list, first Love for God and then Love for one another. It is also told to us by Jesus when asked what is the greatest commandment

Mark 12:29-31 (NASB)

 29 Jesus answered, “The foremost is, ‘Hear, O Israel! The Lord our God is one Lord; 30 and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

As a matter of fact, Love is so important that Jesus gave us a new commandment

John (NASB)

34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.

Peter also tells us how important love is

1 Peter 4:8 (NASB)

8 Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.

I believe we all feel love and we can return that feeling of love. We love on account of how love makes us feel and we want to love other people in the same manner. It is unfortunate that this is only part of the love equation and the second part of the equation, many of us do not know how to do and that is how to love. Our instructions for How to Love is right in the bible in 1 Corinthians

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NASB)

4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

This scripture I have been praying over for weeks and will be praying for weeks/months to come. I, like many others, have failed in this area of love. How many times in past relationships have you told your partner that you love him/her? Probably more than you can count because the words have lost their true meaning and have been replaced with what we FEEL love should be which is typically different than what Gods says love is.

What we need to remember that love is a choice and when we choose to love we can not choose to love partially or indiscriminately. We choose to love the way God wants us to love by the actions we do and the actions we don’t do. How many times while playing and having fun with your partner do you push it to see how far you can take it, till your partner is the point of being irritated or angry? How often do you use the nuke in your back pocket to bush the button of your partner in an argument? Does that look like the love that is taught to us in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 or is this the way love looks in our head?

Choosing to love also means that feelings have to take a back seat. I am not saying that you can’t have feelings but we need to keep in mind what Jeremiah 17:9 tells us about the heart. Those feelings can get convoluted with desires and passion which then takes away from how we are to act, in love, as God tells us to love. Jesus was our example, not the exception, on how to act in love and kindness. It was a submissiveness, first to God, then to others. I am not saying He was a push over but He understood what love is and how to act in it.

This submission to God and to others in the name of love set him totally free. Free from fear, free from doubt, free from worry, free from anxiety, free from stress and much more I am sure. You see this love (in the bible) that is taught to us is not based and how another feels or treats us but based on our submission to God and the choice we make to love. And when we make this choice to love we need to be submissive to the one we love. Submissiveness does not mean always doing what the other says but it is a conscious decision to protect the physical, emotional and spiritual state of the other by putting aside yourself. For example you want to watch the big game but she has just had some bad news and really needs your support. Turn OFF the game and be there for her.

In a lot of relationships it is that feeling of love that brought the two people together but what happens when the feelings die? What is the bond that holds a couple together then? What I mean by feelings die isn’t that you don’t care for the other person or you don't love the person but the passion and the romance that was once there is now gone. Hollywood has us under a false belief that the feeling of love will conquer all but it isn’t the feeling that will conquer it is the choice to love and put that choice into actions on how we love. This choice will remove a constant question with a lot of people, “oh no, we had an argument, are they going to leave me now”? Choosing to love one another in a relationship will remove any fears from that relationship and focus on how to become stronger together, work together, love together.

When we love like this the enemy cannot come into our relationships and plant seeds of doubt or distrust. He is weaponless and powerless to destroy this love. I ask that you pray on 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 and read those versus every morning and see the difference it makes in your relationships.

About Author

David Sherer

David Sherer lives in WI an attends church at Crossing Community Church where he runs sound and tech. His future goal is to get his Christian Counseling Certificate to help broken families. His desire is to help broken men and help lead boys into manhood.

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Bible verse of the day

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.