Love Choice

Category : David's Writings

It has been a while since I have wrote anything and I am inspired to write again. So let me start with this, I try to be as transparent as possible in my writings. To some of you who have known and interacted with me over the last few years, may be shocked to hear, that it has been a struggle for me. If anyone has read my 2013 Year in Review (read here) you will understand some of the things I went through. It has really come to light though how damaging it was for me. The losses I have suffered in the world, had more than just an emotional impact on me, in fact just the other day I cried at the loss of my mom. These losses also have had a spiritual impact as well. All was not lost though, even on days that I struggled and question, at the end of that day I still prayed because I know our Father was there waiting for me.

I know God has pulled me through that bad season and the trials, even though by all accounts I should have just been cast out. Praise be to Jesus for His grace and His mercy, His patients and His love. On that note the reason for this writing, Love and what God has been placing on my heart about it.

I think we can all agree that Love is at the top of Gods list, first Love for God and then Love for one another. It is also told to us by Jesus when asked what is the greatest commandment

Mark 12:29-31 (NASB)

 29 Jesus answered, “The foremost is, ‘Hear, O Israel! The Lord our God is one Lord; 30 and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

As a matter of fact, Love is so important that Jesus gave us a new commandment

John (NASB)

34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.

Peter also tells us how important love is

1 Peter 4:8 (NASB)

8 Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.

I believe we all feel love and we can return that feeling of love. We love on account of how love makes us feel and we want to love other people in the same manner. It is unfortunate that this is only part of the love equation and the second part of the equation, many of us do not know how to do and that is how to love. Our instructions for How to Love is right in the bible in 1 Corinthians

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NASB)

4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

This scripture I have been praying over for weeks and will be praying for weeks/months to come. I, like many others, have failed in this area of love. How many times in past relationships have you told your partner that you love him/her? Probably more than you can count because the words have lost their true meaning and have been replaced with what we FEEL love should be which is typically different than what Gods says love is.

What we need to remember that love is a choice and when we choose to love we can not choose to love partially or indiscriminately. We choose to love the way God wants us to love by the actions we do and the actions we don’t do. How many times while playing and having fun with your partner do you push it to see how far you can take it, till your partner is the point of being irritated or angry? How often do you use the nuke in your back pocket to bush the button of your partner in an argument? Does that look like the love that is taught to us in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 or is this the way love looks in our head?

Choosing to love also means that feelings have to take a back seat. I am not saying that you can’t have feelings but we need to keep in mind what Jeremiah 17:9 tells us about the heart. Those feelings can get convoluted with desires and passion which then takes away from how we are to act, in love, as God tells us to love. Jesus was our example, not the exception, on how to act in love and kindness. It was a submissiveness, first to God, then to others. I am not saying He was a push over but He understood what love is and how to act in it.

This submission to God and to others in the name of love set him totally free. Free from fear, free from doubt, free from worry, free from anxiety, free from stress and much more I am sure. You see this love (in the bible) that is taught to us is not based and how another feels or treats us but based on our submission to God and the choice we make to love. And when we make this choice to love we need to be submissive to the one we love. Submissiveness does not mean always doing what the other says but it is a conscious decision to protect the physical, emotional and spiritual state of the other by putting aside yourself. For example you want to watch the big game but she has just had some bad news and really needs your support. Turn OFF the game and be there for her.

In a lot of relationships it is that feeling of love that brought the two people together but what happens when the feelings die? What is the bond that holds a couple together then? What I mean by feelings die isn’t that you don’t care for the other person or you don't love the person but the passion and the romance that was once there is now gone. Hollywood has us under a false belief that the feeling of love will conquer all but it isn’t the feeling that will conquer it is the choice to love and put that choice into actions on how we love. This choice will remove a constant question with a lot of people, “oh no, we had an argument, are they going to leave me now”? Choosing to love one another in a relationship will remove any fears from that relationship and focus on how to become stronger together, work together, love together.

When we love like this the enemy cannot come into our relationships and plant seeds of doubt or distrust. He is weaponless and powerless to destroy this love. I ask that you pray on 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 and read those versus every morning and see the difference it makes in your relationships.


Letter to My Dad

Category : David's Writings

A very special friend of mine wrote a letter to her dad and asked me to read it to let her know what I thought. As I read the letter I was amazed at all the loved that poured from her and how much her father loved her and what he meant to her. The memories that she brought up are just an imagination to me, as I grew up in a completely different environment. I was privileged to watch her father read the letter and I could see the tears welling in his eyes as he went through the three pages. I couldn't help but to feel happy and joy for them and it brought a small tear to my eye. I couldn't imagine what that must of felt like, to write the letter and to receive the letter and I wonder if I wrote a letter to my dad, what would I say. The letter is below.


 

Dad

You don't know me but I am your son. I didn't know you and for my whole life I wish I did. I wish I knew what it was like to have your father love you, to have your father in your life. I have only three memory's, well four if you count the picture mom has shown me, of you. I know you left my life when I was two or three, mom has told me how I always waited for a letter or phone call from you and when it never came how I would cry. Dad I am not trying to put you on a guilt trip as I do not remember the things mom has told me.

I want you to know me dad, so let me tell you about my life since you have been gone. Growing up I was afraid, afraid of everything, I was small and skinny as a child, always picked on by the other kids, always getting beat up. I was afraid of getting hurt so I didn't fight back, hoping no one would fight me. Unfortunately that wasn't the case, and fighting started becoming an everyday part of life and I was afraid of it. I use to run home from school crying for mom because the other kids were always beating me up. I lived across the street from the school, all of this in grade school.

In Jr. High, my pre-teen years, it didn't change much, I was so skinny, there was no positive influence in my life. Mom tried her best but it wasn't easy for her to work full time and then come home and take care of the kids. She was young and wanted to live her life so she was out on the weekends. She had an abusive boyfriend 6'4” over 300lbs. We always thought that one day he would kill us. How angry he got when he was drunk and how he would beat mom up so bad. Every weekend when he drank we would run out of the house, mom trying to get his attention away from me and my sister. I was 13 when he died, I changed from there.

Dad I am sorry but I hated you from that point on into my 20's and from my 30's into my early 40's I just didn't care about you anymore. I didn't care if you were dead or alive and to me you were dead. I am sorry I held those feelings towards you dad.

In my teens I got into drugs and alcohol, getting high became an every day/other day thing for a while, along with drinking. I got into crime, at thirteen I was part of a bike stealing ring and we kept the bikes behind the apartment where I lived. At 15 I went to jail for the first time, with some friends for theft. Everything just got worse from there. I wound up in prison when I was 20 and spent my 21st birthday locked in a 5x9 cell. I got into fights in prison, wondering if this would be my last fight, will this person kill me. I had to lose the fear and that I did. When I got out I had no fear of fighting and found myself always getting into fights and into trouble.

I had a daughter, dad, you have a grand daughter. I wish you could see her. However the apple didn't fall far from the tree and I did not stay with her mother just like you didn't stay with mom. I tried the best I could to be my daughter's life, to be a father for her but what example did I have, where was my role model to glean from. My daughter and I had a rough patch for a while in our relationship but we are working on it. Every time I look at her or listen to her talk I see so much of me and who I was in her and I wonder how much of you is in me. Six weeks after she was born I found myself in jail again and I remember what it was like to look at my baby daughter through 6 inches of glass, not being able to hold her. I do love my daughter and I want nothing more than to be in her life and if this is in me it has to be in you dad because I would have had to get this feeling, this notion, from somewhere. I was caught committing another crime and I wound up getting sentence to 9 mos of work release and not two more years in the penitentiary and I thought I got lucky. Instead what I got was God's grace and mercy however I wouldn't know this for another 20 years. After that life wasn't easy, I was a high school drop out, with a felony record, at least I was off parole at that time.

In my 30's I did go back to school and I did get two college degrees in computers. But still no stability in my life. I am now in my 40's dad and how much things have changed. Though one looking in may still see an unstable person who has nothing and they would be wrong. I have found God and after all the time He has been reaching out to me I finally accepted Him and reached back. I still do not have anything and I may not be completely stable but my quality of life has improved. God has also shown me about you dad, not as in who you are but as in a person who may have been in a bad place in his life. Not being able to deal with everything going on and having to make some hard choices.

God has also shown me to stop blaming you and letting go of the hurt, the void I have had inside from not having a father. He has shown me how to forgive and I do forgive you dad.

I cannot say or judge that you are the same man today as the man who left me as a child. I am sure you loved me dad and you had your reasons to leave the way you did. I just want you to know I do not hate you and I do not blame you. I want you to know I love you and I miss you.

Dad I wish I knew what it was like to be held by you, to feel safe in your arms, to hear you say that you love me. It won't feel the same now as it would have felt when I was four but it doesn't mean I don't want to know what it is like to have my dad hug me and say that he loves me. Maybe one day I will get the chance. I love you dad, I wish I knew you.

Your son

David Allen Sherer


The Poem

Category : Poems

This poem comes from having a father wound all of my life. The poem was written at the most painful time in my life. I was homeless, I was jobless, and I felt alone and abandoned. A woman that I wanted to have as a wife left me removing her son whom I loved as my own. God had other plans for us though, and His plan for me was to heal me and to grow me. To turn me into the man He had created me to be.

It was during this time that I was reflecting on my life and my dad had come to my mind. I let all the anger, hurt, and pain that had built up over the years and in my current situation, pour out of me. As I was writing 'A Father Lost' God came in and spoke to me and that became 'A Father Found'.

My life has changed so much since that time. God has been faithful in His promise to heal me, to take care of my needs, and to be a Father to me. I hope this writing will encourage others to come to God and to trust in God.


A Father Lost

Psalm 127:3-5


Daddy, I don't know why you left mommy and me
What did I say? What did I do?
Is it something that mommy said or something mommy did?
Daddy we are so sorry please come back we need you.

Where are you when I go to bed?
Where are you when I wake up?
Where are you during the day?
Where are you when I need a hug?

It has been weeks now that I have seen you.
There have been no letters or calls.
Every day I think of you and shed a tear.
It seems you forgot about me and don't care at all.

I needed you to keep me safe through the night.
I needed to wake up and hug you in the morning.
I needed your arms around me tight.
But all I have are tears that don't stop pouring.

Daddy, I am older now and my tears are gone.
All I have is anger for what you did to mommy and me.
Mommy has stopped crying from night to dawn
and if we ever meet I suggest you flee.

The pain you caused this family.
The heartache that we went through.
How I had to watch mommy do it on her own.
Raising a son, a rebellious teen, how she suffered for you.

Working two jobs to provide a meal.
Always making sure that we weren't without.
Working overtime to pay the bills.
Never having a moment for herself and full of doubt.
About raising me alone.
Without a dad around the house.

Daddy, I am older now and my anger is passed
and I wonder who and where you are.
Do you ever think of me or was I thrown out in the trash?
How I wonder if who I am is who you are.

I wish I could remember what you looked like.
I wish I had a picture to jog my mind.
I wish you could see your beautiful grandchild
I wish we could have some time.

I found out today that you have passed on.
Again I find a tear in my eye because of you.
The tear is not out of anger or fear.
It's because of everything I never knew.

A Father Found

2 Corinthians 6:18


Son, I was there the day your father left.
I saw the pain in your heart
and I couldn't help Myself, with you I wept
and I took you into My arms.

You were so hurt that you couldn't see Me
you couldn't hear My voice through the tears.
I knew I would have to protect you
over the up and coming years.

I wanted you to know how I love you.
I wanted you to feel My love and My touch.
I wanted you to know that I would never leave you.
I wanted you to know Me so much.

You didn't bring Me your pain to heal
I saw your anger and it was a painful blow.
So to your heart I made an appeal.
And My love for you, refused to let you go

I said just give me the chance and let Me in.
Let Me remove your anger and your pain.
For with My love there is no end.
An abundance of mercy and grace
to fill your heart, all for your gain.

Let My presence consume you like a fire
My voice like an ocean wave to your ear.
I will carry you when you are tired.
You will know I am always near.

I have loved from the beginning
and I will love you to the end.
For I saw you in every storm
and I knew I had to let you bend.

I have always kept My had upon you,
because I need you to come home.
I will never let you break
and push you too far gone.

You are very dear to Me
and I will hold your hand as we walk
I love our time at night,
when you pray to Me and we get to talk.

For I made you
So I know who your are
There will never be a moment,
that we are kept apart.

So this I say to you My son.
Keep your hope and your faith
Because no one will undo
what I have done.

I will see you when I bring you home
and we shall eat a feast.
There I will reward you
and bring you out of the least.
To your rightful inheritance for all to see.


Bible verse of the day

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.